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EMOTIONS, part  6 - Love  In  Problem  Marriages...continued  quotes

1)    The Emotion of Love Dealing With the Lack of Proper Government in the Marriage

     God has specified there to be a particular form of government in every marriage.  But because of the lack of one or more family members following this Godly form of government, many marriages end up in ruin.  This Godly government in marriage deals with two separate areas:

     1) - Areas of religious belief.

     2) - Non-religious areas.

Proper Government In All Religious Matters

     “...the head of Christ is God.”  1 Corinthians 11:3.

     “And (God the Father) hath put all things under his (Jesus’) feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all....Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore...the church is subject unto Christ”. Ephesians 1:22-23, 5:23-24.

     "I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine....and I lay down my life for the sheep...and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd." John 10:14-16.

     These Scriptures reveal a chain of authority within any marriage dealing with all religious matters.  God the Father is the Head of Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ is the Head of the church.  But who makes up this church and the body of Christ, His one fold or flock?

     “And ye my flock, the flock of my pasture, are men, and I am your God, saith the Lord GOD.” Ezekiel 34:31.

     “...before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children”. Ezra 10:1.

     “For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:26.

     These verses reveal that the flock or church and body of Christ is composed of men, women and children.  The Head of every man, woman and child, which they are always to obey in every religious issue, is Jesus Christ, and ultimately God the Father.

2)    No human being has any right to assume religious authority over any other human being and command them to do something that goes counter to the command and will of Jesus Christ and the Almighty!
     “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all they soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” Matthew 22:37-38.

     “...Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.” Matthew 4:10.

     These verses reveal that no husband or wife has any right to demand obedience of their spouse or child in religious situations when their command conflicts with the command and will of God and Christ!  Children can disobey the authority and direct command of their parents if these commands conflict with the commands of God and Christ!
     “For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.  And if ye be Christ’s, then are ye Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” Galatians 3:26-29.

3)     All men, women and children are the property of Christ and of equal importance!

     “...God is no respecter of persons”. Acts 10:34.

     “...your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.” Ephesians 6:9.

     “My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons....If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well: But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.” James 2:1, 8-9.  

     What should you do if you find yourself being commanded to do anything contrary to God’s express will?

     “Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye....(for) we ought to obey God rather then men.” Acts 4:19, 5:29.

     These verses reveal that you are to politely, but firmly refuse to obey your husband, or wife, or parents, or the president, or dictator, or any other governmental leader; or a judge, or police, or other judicial or enforcement official; or the pope, priest, pastor, elder, teacher, or other religious leader; if they command you to go against the will and commands of God!

     “Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.” Jeremiah 17:5.

     “Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.  But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 10:32-33.

     In all religious matters, the chain of authority in the government of your marriage, is that the Head of Christ is God, and Christ is the Head of every man, woman and child composing His church and body.

4)     Proper Government In All Non-Religious Matters

     “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3.

     “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”  Colossians 3:20.

     These Scriptures reveal a slightly different chain of authority in your marriage dealing with all non-religious matters.  God the Father is the Head of Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ is the Head of the husband.  The husband is the head of the wife.  And both the husband and the wife are the head of their children.

5)     Why is Christ the head of every man, but not the head of every woman in all non-religious matters?

     “...forasmuch as he (the man) is the image and glory of God: but the woman is of the man.  For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.  Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” 1 Corinthians 11:7-9.

     Adam was created first, and then the woman was created out of Adam and for Adam.  Since Adam was created first before the woman, then man has the pre-eminence in authority over the woman in any marriage.

     “Unto the woman he said...thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Genesis 3:16.

     The Hebrew word for “rule” used here is “mashal”, which translates and means “to rule, to have dominion, governor, reign, have power” (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, word #4910).  So it is God’s will that the husband is to have the power of dominion as a governor to reign, and to bear rule over the wife as her head in all non-religious matters.

     “But I suffer not a woman to...usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.  For Adam was first formed, then Eve.  And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” 1 Timothy 2:12-14.

     Does this rulership over the woman give any man the right to mistreat her in any area?  No!

     “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.  For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.” 1 Corinthians 11:11-12.

6)     There is no Godly right granted for any man to mistreat any woman – especially his wife.

     “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3:19.

     “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence”. 1 Corinthians 7:3.

     “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.  He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church...Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself.” Ephesians 5:25-29, 33.

     These verses reveal that the husband is to love his wife as much as he loves himself, and not allow himself to become bitter against her and allow his love for her to lessen.  He is to render unto his wife due benevolence, or give her true, kind and tender-hearted love, like the full love that Christ has for His followers.  The husband is to lovingly nourish, honor and cherish his wife, doing everything he can to build her up and not tear her down, so that she may become pure, spotless and without blemish to him, to herself, and to God.

     If any husband mistreats or takes advantage of his wife in any area, then God will not hear his prayers!

     “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7.

7)     There is no Godly right granted for any woman to mistreat any man – especially her husband.

     “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing....let every...wife see that she reverence her husband.” Ephesians 5:22-24, 33.

     “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.  For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well”. 1 Peter 3:1-6.

     These verses show that all wives should submit themselves in subjection under the authority of their husbands, just as the church is in subjection under the authority of Christ.  If any wife refuses to do so, she would be going against God’s stated will.

     If any wife mistreats or takes advantage of her husband in any area, then she is committing blasphemy against God and His word!

     “...the young women (need) to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4-5.  

8)     Why is the head of any children their father and mother and not Christ in all non-religious areas?
     “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12.

     “Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.  Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be will with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3.

     “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” Proverbs 1:8-9.

     “A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.” Proverbs 13:1.

     These verses reveal that for the children to honor, respect and obey their father and mother, learning lessons of wisdom from them, then this is well pleasing unto God and He will bless them with a long life upon the land which He will give them.  This land will ultimately be the new earth, and they will enjoy everlasting life.
     But also, by lovingly obeying the instructions of both their parents, children are learning to also lovingly obey their heavenly Father!  If children do not learn to love and obey their parents, then there is little chance that they will learn to love and obey God, and thus they will be rewarded with death instead of eternal life!

     “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness,...proud,...disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection,...Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” Romans 1:28-32.

     If children learn to love and obey their parents, then they will also learn to love and obey God, and will be rewarded with eternal life instead of death!

     “Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Because ye have obeyed the commandment of Jonadab your father, and kept all his precepts, and done according unto all that he hath commanded you: Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Jonadab the son of Rechab shall not want a man to stand before me for ever.” Jeremiah 35:18-19.

9)     It is unselfish Godly love that allows each person to submit and remain in their proper place of authority in any marriage or family.  But if self is exalted and rebellion against God's government and organization in the marriage occurs, then all kinds of troubles and problems will threaten to destroy the marriage.

     “He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind”. Proverbs 11:29.